Pure Panic!

Kaylon, Kolbie and I were watching a movie tonight while eating a well balanced meal consisting of a Lunchable, popcorn, Crasins, and Mandarin oranges. (Ridiculous, I know.) I get these really cute Oscar Meyer Lunchables for toddlers that have the ham cubed up, little slices of cheese, and the tiny Ritz looking circle crackers. He loves the heck out of them, but about 3 months ago when we 1st tried them, he would forget the chew and just try to swallow the crackers whole. This of course led to a beating almost worthy of calling CPS trying get the cracker dislodged from his throat. At that time 10 seconds of chocking seemed like forever. I pride myself on not panicking in a choking situation because he is really good at coughing whatever food it may be up and out of the way with a little coaching. Never the less, at that point, it was decided no more of the mini Lunchables.
Well, I must have forgotten how scared I got that day, because low and behold they are back in my fridge. On most occasions I would break the crackers in half before I gave them to him, but he has been much better about chewing his food. I've been coaching him to "use" his teeth. (Its so cute because then he'll come over to me and show me his chewing technique.)
So enough babbling, you can see where this is going by now I'm sure. He was standing in front of the TV when he turned and walked so patiently over to me on the couch, when I looked at him and he was BLUE! Yes, BLUE around his nose and between his eyes. Poor Kolbie got tossed to the couch while I yanked him up and started beating him on the back. That wasn't working so I tried to clear his air way with my finger only to make the situation worse by shoving the cracker further down his throat. My baby was steadily dry heaving with water pouring out of eyes and mouth. Then I started the children's version of the Heimlich maneuver. By this time his mouth was purple and I was in tears while fear was overwhelming me and started to feel the panic. I felt like I was beating my child hard enough to break his bones. Finally he was able to make himself throw up to dislodge the cracker. As calm as he could be, he just held on to my neck and I sat down and rocked us. Oh man, I rocked, and rubbed his back, and loved on him until he fell asleep. I swear, no exaggeration, he had to be chocking for a solid minute. All the training I've had didn't matter. The emotions you feel when you are in the middle of a situation like that, I don't even have the words to describe. I can't imaging how scared I would have been had I not known what to do. It should be a requirement for all parents to learn infant and child cpr. This definitely ranks high on the list with the most scared I've ever been.